Fooling Yourself
by IGAF-kun
Summary: He's gone and she couldn't have saved him. Why did she feel this way? She always claimed that he meant nothing to her. That he was the very person that made her unhappy. But deep down she knew that she was just fooling herself. BBxR On hold for rewrite
1. Prologue

_**Fooling Yourself**_

Written By: IGAF

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Summary: He's gone and she couldn't have saved him. Why did she feel this way? She always claimed that he meant nothing to her. That he was the very person that made her unhappy. But deep down she knew that she was just fooling herself...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Titans or Slade. I just own the explosives... Well, not anymore.

Author's note: This is a one-shot story to break my writer's block, but if you like it, I'll continue the story. (I have a complete idea thought out, but I don't know if it's any good.) So if you want it to be more than a one-shot, please review and tell me.

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It's been three days since it happened. Three days since the last corny joke. Three days since the last 'tofu vs. meat' breakfast feud. Three days since the attack... Three long days... Raven stood just outside the closed door of his room. Her pale face stared ahead emotionlessly under the blue hood, her eyes blocked from view. She stretched out her right hand and traced the letters that were engraved on the metal.

"Wasn't there another way?"

Though it happened three days ago, it seemed like only a few minutes had passed to her since she was knocked out. The cuts, burns, and bruises that littered her body were now completely gone, thanks to her demon half, but she couldn't care less. That didn't matter at all. Her hand slowly retreated from the door as her sight focused on the carpet at her feet and her mind replayed that fateful day.

"_You've got to be kidding me." Towering before the Titans was an enormous bomb over ten feet wide and fifteen feet tall. Robin, while holding an injured little 6yr old boy, turned to his metal companion. "Cy, think you can disarm it?"_

"_Won't know till I try." Cyborg cracked his knuckles and carefully opened the front panel. His eyes went wide. "Um, that would be a no." _

"_Why?" Cyborg stepped aside._

_00:00:10_

"_Oh God..."_

"_Let me handle it." Raven raised her hands, encasing the rather large explosive in an inky black shield. Inside, the timer continued its countdown, its number growing ever closer to zero. "Get back. I don't know if I can contain it or not."_

"_But Raven..."_

_00:00:05_

"_No buts, now go."_

_  
00:00:04_

"_Raven!" _

_00:00:03_

"_Now!"_

_00:00:02_

_The four Titans, with no other argument, dashed for cover behind several fallen supports and bookcases in the once brand new library._

_00:00:01_

_Raven closed her eyes._

_00:00:00 BEEP BEEP_

A loud explosion rocked the tower causing everything around the young empath to crash to the ground. A moment later her communicator went off, which she reluctantly answered. Cyborg's angry image appeared on the screen. "Yo Rae! What're you trying to do here? Knock over the tower?"

"No." Her voice was laced with ice as her grip tightened on the tiny device.

"Well, chill girl. You gettin' all worked up over it aint gonna help us get Slade!"

"Shut up ... I know that." She growled

"Hey." His face softened as he continued to speak. "It's okay to miss him. I know I do." After getting no response, he spoke strongly and encouraging, "I gotta get back to work, but don't you worry. We'll get Slade for BB."

"Yeah..." As the screen went blank, Raven leaned her back against the door and slid slowly to the ground. "But that won't bring him back."


	2. Thinking Back

Chapter One

**Thinking Back**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. I do however, own my comp to type it. (even though it took 6 computers to actually finish it)**

I am happy to say that this fic is no longer a one-shot. Due to everyone who enjoyed this fic and asked for a continuation, I've decided to post an update to show my appreciation and give you guys what you asked for... Now on to the fic!

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_The Titans all watched from afar as the bomb exploded inside the empath's shield. Bookshelves shook violently as the contained blast lapped at the ground beneath it, tearing through wood and concrete in an attempt to free itself from the half demon's confines. The black dome expanded in size and slowly began to crack under the massive pressure, eliciting a gasp from the entire team._

_"I can't hold it anymore!" Raven gasped as hergrip faltered and the remaining power blew the dome apart. Fire and shrapnel flew out with unbridled fury, causing all the windows in the library to shatter, and any bookshelves that were still standing to be thrown back with locomotive-like force, the Titans going with them. Raven, having been closest to the explosion, was catapulted into a nearby marble pillar. The force of the impact shattered the stone, and only slowed her momentum as she burst through the other side and ricocheted off the far wall before slamming into the ground._

"Friend Raven?"

Raven looked up towards the source of her disturbance in irritation, "What?" She snapped, before instantly regretting it. She dropped her gaze from Starfire's hurt expression and returned her attention to her shoes that were poking out of her cloak. For most people, an apology would be given for such an outburst, but Raven was not 'most people'. Instead of an 'I'm sorry, she merely repeated her question without the icy undertone.

Brushing a strand of hair out of her face, Starfire crouched down and placed a hand on her friend's arm, "I came at this time to see if you required companionship during such an hour of intense emotional suffering." Upon receiving no reply, she leaned in close, placing her shoulder in Raven's view. "Are you in need of the shoulder in which to weep? I will gladly lend you mine."

Raven sighed, "I'm fine." She did not feel like correcting any grammatical errors today.

"Very well."

She could tell that her words, or lack thereof, hurt Starfire deeply without even looking up. It didn't take an empath to sense the pain in those two simple words. She felt the hand leave her arm and watched the alien get up from her peripheral vision. Again she was left with her own thoughts.

"Why do you wish to experience the heartache of his passing alone?"

Or not. "I don't do grief."

"But is that not what you are performing at the moment?"

Raven finally had just about all she could take. She quickly stood up and gave Starfire a glare saved only for the vilest of criminals. "Listen, I don't need you, Cyborg, Robin, or anyone else sticking their noses in my business. I don't have any regrets, and crying won't do anything."

The lights in the hall flickered and exploded, showering the two girls in glass. "But I did not..." Starfire started, but Raven ignored her and continued.

"Death happens and there's nothing we can do about it. BeastBoy's dead. Life goes on. Deal with it." She then turned on the ball of her foot and walked off, leaving Starfire behind in shock. Those were probably the worst things she could possibly say, and the biggest lies she had ever spoken, but right now she needed to be alone.

For a while Raven wandered the halls with no destination in mind, though she did find herself heading towards his room on several occasions. It's not like she was trying to avoid it, but she figured Star needed some time to herself. Finally deciding on the roof, she made her way up the long staircase and opened the door at the top. Once there, she levitated herself into the lotus position and began to search for her center.

_The dust had just begun to settle as two massive green fists ripped through a decimated bookshelf. BeastBoy, currently in the form of a gorilla, tore the broken object in two and proceeded to climb out of the destruction. After changing back, he grabbed his head and groaned. Several scratches littered his face, and his uniform was torn in places. He looked around to see a blue energy beam rip through a nearby mountain of wood and paper followed by a few strings of profanity. He poked his head into the hole. "Hey Cy! You okay in there?"_

_"Do I look ok to you!" Cyborg shouted back, though no anger in his voice was directed at the changeling._

_'Wonder why he's so ticked off.' He wondered. It didn't look like anything was wrong with..._

_"I have located Friend Cyborg's arm! Where is the rest of him?"_

_'There's one question answered.' "Hey Star!" He waved at the orange skinned girl, "Cy's down here, and it looks like he could use a hand!"_

_"Ha. Ha."_

_Starfire came flying down from the ceiling with Cy's arm in hand. After pulling him out of the books and returning him his lost appendage, she looked around slightly worried, "Where is the child,Robin, and friend Raven?"_

_Cyborg checked his radar, then pointed behind BeastBoy. "Raven's signal is coming from that direction while Robin and another lifesign," He looked up and blinked as his best friend ran off before he could finish, "Is this way." He gave a look of confusion to Starfire, who only shrugged in return.

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_

_"Raven!" BeastBoy slowly walked through the destruction, searching carefully for his lost teammate. "Rae!" 'C'mon! Where are you?' He caught a strange scent in the air that wasn't there before. The scent of blood._

_Raven's blood._

_Its odor was so strong that he didn't even need to change form to follow it easily. He doubled his pace as the smell grew overpowering, his panic rising. The next thing he saw caused his heart to skip a beat, "Oh man, Raven!" She was laying on her back in a semi-clear area only about twenty feet from him. The hardwood floor below her was smashed and splintered, most likely digging wood fragments into her skin, and her normally blue cape was now stained almost black from blood loss._

_He dashed towards the fallen Titan, only to trip on one of the many books scattered about and fall flat on his face. He was back on his feet in an instant, and finally made it to her side. "Raven?" He knelt down and placed a gloved hand on her cheek. He dared not move her, fearing that he might injure her further. "Rae? Can you hear me?"_

_"...Unfortunately, yes." Raven mumbled._

_BeastBoy let out a sigh of relief before chuckling slightly, "Good, cause you're way too young for hearing aides." His concern quickly replaced his (bad) humor. "Can you move?"_

_The empath winced at the mere thought of getting up. "Capable, yes... Do I want to? No." The pain was unbearable. Plain and simple, and there was no way she was going anywhere without help._

_The sound of shifting rubble caused the changeling to divert his attention to the surrounding area. Cyborg and Starfire were currently lifting the remnants of the marble pillar off a set of bookshelves where Robin and the child were apparentlyburied. After successfully pulling the two from their confines and checking them over, the half man quickly made his way towards his other teammates. "Kay B, I'm gonna need some room."_

_BeastBoy nodded and stepped aside. "Is she gonna be okay?" He asked worriedly._

_Cyborg shrugged slightly as he began scanning her, his expression neutral. "Don't know, but I'll give you the 411 when I find out."_

_At that, the green teen was shooed away by a cybernetic hand and pushed towards Starfire and Robin. He quickly took that moment to check up on the Boy Wonder and his charge. "So... how's the squirt?" For some reason, he just didn't like the kid. There was something strange about him that he didn't trust..._

_Robin scowled slightly, snapping BeastBoy out of his thoughts. "He's unconscious right now, but he'll be okay." Apparently he was still furious about Slade's idea of using a kid as bait to blow them up._

_"Well?" The three turned their attention to Raven's weak voice. "Am I going to die or what?"_

_"You took one heck of a beating, but I'm pretty sure you'll live." Cyborg smiled as Robin, Starfire, and BeastBoy gathered around their fallen comrade. "I'm gonna give you something for the pain." A small compartment opened on his arm revealing all the supplies you'd see in an emergency med kit, plus a few more._

**"Raven..."**

_"You gave us... heck of a..." Raven felt her consciousness fading as Cyborg injected a painkiller into her shoulder. The last thing she heard before slipping into darkness was the clapping of gloved hands across the room, and a smooth voice that forever would send chills down her spine._

_"Well done Titans..."_

"Azarath... Metrion... Zinthos..." Raven felt herself lightly touch the cold concrete as she slowly fell out of her trance. She opened her violet eyes and found herself staring at a massive darkening blue sky. How long had it been? It was barely past lunchtime when she started, and now the sun had almost completely set. But something was off. She looked down at her pale hands, trying to decipher the strange feeling. Usually, she'd feel refreshed such a long meditation. After all, the longer she meditated, the more balanced her emotions became. But this time, she felt... different.

She phased through the floor and dropped to the ground by the common room entrance. As she reached for the panel, the entire door began glowing black. Her eyes widened slightly, 'This can't be happening.' She scrunched her eyes shut and doubled over as an intense surge of power caused the door to literally begin folding in on itself. The hydraulics screeched under the massive strain and eventually exploded, sending the remnants of the door flying through the common room at over a hundred miles per hour, straight through the big screen TV and out the window.

Raven stood at the entrance panting from the exertion, a thin layer of sweat covering her face. 'I meditated for almost eight hours straight. I should be in complete control.'

Raven suddenly found herself yanked off her feet by the front of her cloak and slammed against the opposing wall. She jerked her head up and found herself face-to-face with a very angry Tameranian. "You are finished with your meditation, yes?" Despite her friendly voice, her eyes glowed brightly in fury.

"What? Starfire, put me down."

"No, I will not." Starfire lifted her slightly higher in emphasis. "Not until you answer my question. Do you consider yourself to be a friend of BeastBoy?"

"Ok, yes. He was my friend."

"Clorbag!" She slammed her against the metal wall again, causing Raven to wince. It wasn't enough to seriously injure her, but she already had a headache to begin with. "How can you truthfully say that he was your friend?"

"Starfire, I—"

"I have done the listening to you. Now you will do the same for me!" Raven, though internally shocked, could feel her anger beginning to rise, but she quickly forced it down, allowing her friend to continue, "What have you done that was not harmful to him? You did the putting of him down, whether it be to insult his intelligence, or to criticize his performing of the bad jokes, and you have even been known to inflict physical pain in several occasions!" The glow faded from Starfire's eyes, and soon glistening tears replaced them, flowing down her face before plummeting to the carpet below. Yet somehow her glare never wavered. "I will ask again. How could you call him your friend?"

Those words somehow caused Raven's chest to tighten as her heart wrenched in pain. "He never took me seriously, Star. It was just..." She searched her mind for the right word, trying desperately not to anger the Tameranian any further. "... a type of banter we always had. It was never meant to hurt either one of us." The feeling she had after her meditation seeped in as she spoke which slowly started to break through her normal monotone, giving it a more depressed sound. "And... I never really meant... to... hurt him..."

Her words broke up as it finally hit her. The horrible feeling after meditation, the memories that filled her mind while in her trance, and the time she nearly blew the Tower off its foundations after waking up and hearing the news. The devastation of hearing those words...

She felt no different from the time she was told of BeastBoy's death.

So caught up in her realization, she didn't notice Starfire let go of her cloak, nor did she hear the sound of Robin's voice yelling at his teammate. She just sat there staring ahead, yet seeing at nothing at all.

"You believe that you are alone, yet you are not." She raised her eyes to Starfire's face in surprise. "That is what he said to you, was it not? Perhaps you should consider his words." With that said, she followed Robin out of the common room.

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I hope you enjoyed it. Please R&R! Your reviews are what keepsmegoing, so please tell me how you feel. I even accept flames. (But I do prefer compliments a little more) 


	3. Promises Broken

Chapter Two

**Promises Broken

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**

Well here's another chapter of _**Fooling Yourself**_. I just wanted to thank all my reviewers for telling me what they thought. For everyone that I couldn't (or didn't) Reply to I want to say thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: There is no DC in IGAF-kun.

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Robin quickly pulled Starfire into the training room and shut the door, looking at her with a firm gaze. "Okay Star. Mind explaining what just happened back there?" He asked. 

Starfire turned away and looked down at the floor, dejected. "I... I was..." She sighed as her shoulders sagged and her back hunched, making her appear to be shorter than her leader. "It is... nothing." She could feel her tears resurfacing and brought her hand up to wipe them away.

Robin beat her to the punch. "Star," In a single motion, he stepped forward and gently cupped her cheek with a gloved hand and brushed off her tears with his thumb. "When best friends are at each others throats, it isn't nothing. C'mon, I'm not mad at you. I'm just worried, that's all." He lifted her face to look her in the eyes. "You can tell me."

Starfire sniffled as she pulled away from his hand. "I... was angry."

Robin suppressed the urge to smile and kept his expression (fairly) neutral. "I could see that. What I want to know is why."

Starfire hesitated. "She was..."

_"Remember, you can't tell Raven a thing, kay?"_

_Starfire looked at BeastBoy, confused. "But why?"_

_"Dude!" The green teen grabbed her by the shoulders, his eyes wide and panicky. "You already went through with the most supreme pledge man ever made!" He let go and waved his arms in the air frantically. "You can't tell her even if you wanted to!"_

_"I have?"_

_"Yeah!"_

_The alien placed a finger on her chin in thought. "Hmm..." What did she do that had initiated such an oath? Perhaps she missed something again... A tiny thought struck her. "Was it the interlocking of the smallest digits on our hands? The act that you called 'the swearing of the pinkie'?"_

_BeastBoy calmed down and sighed in relief. "Yeah," He looked at her with a seriousness rarely seen on the changeling's face, "So you can't ever tell her unless I say it's okay."_

"_But why would you wish to keep information such as this unknown to her?" She asked, genuinely curious._

"_Heeelloooo! She's thrown me out the window for less! You think I'm gonna risk getting torn limb from limb?"_

_Starfire gasped, "Friend BeastBoy, you know that she would never commit such an act to one of her friends!"_

_BeastBoy laughed "I was joking, I was joking! But seriously..." His eyes became distant as his smile grew more wistful for a moment. "We both know what she'd say." _

Starfire she leaned against Cyborg's weight set and sobbed heavily into her hands. She had tried to convince her friend that he was wrong. He had to be! There were too many times she saw that had spoken volumes to her! She had believed with her whole heart that he was merely paranoid, but sadly, it appeared that he was right all along.

Strong arms gently wrapped around the Tameranian as Robin pulled her against his chest in a comforting gesture. Her sudden outburst of tears had surprised him, and he did the only thing he could think of. "Uhm, It's okay Star." He spoke nervously while patting her on the back, "I didn't mean to upset you. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

The touch of his gloved hands around her and the sound of his voice sent a whole new wave of tears through her. She hugged him back with all the strength she would dare and buried her face in the crook of his neck. "Oh Robin! She said so many horrible things about BeastBoy! She does not care that he has died despite everything he has done for her! I became so enraged that I wished to do a great deal of bodily harm to her for her speaking of his passing so carelessly!" She whimpered into his neck as her legs gave out and collapsed under her weight, dragging them both to their knees on the floor.

Robin's eyes went as wide as his mask would allow when he barely caught the last few words from her mouth.

_"Slade!"_

_Robin handed the child to Starfire, grabbed an explosive disk from his belt and hurled it at the villain. You can imagine the surprise all the Titans shared when it passed through his head and detonated on the wall behind him._

_"A ghost!" BeastBoy shrieked._

_"No..." Cyborg corrected, "A hologram!"_

_"A hall of what?"_

_"Nevermind."_

_Slade shook his head and placed his arms behind his back. "You disappoint me Robin. Did you really expect me to stay here after arming a bomb that was capable of leveling the city?" He took in the surrounding area. "I must admit, your demon friend had much more power than I thought a halfling could have. Very impressive."_

_"You knew we'd be able to stop it." Robin growled. "Why else would you be here as a hologram?"_

_"Don't flatter yourselves. This program is here just to make sure you have been eliminated." The virtual villain seemed to be grinning from beneath his mask. The tone in his voice was a dead giveaway. "Look at your teammates Robin. All of them are battered and bruised" Slade glanced at the fallen Raven. "Some not even able to stand."_

_"Face it Slade. We beat you. You lost, again."_

_He casually pulled a hand from behind his back and pointed his palm facing out towards the heroes. "Though I do commend you for your efforts, you will not be getting out of this building alive."_

_"What're ya gonna do? Talk us to death?" Cyborg taunted._

_"I can see that despite your expertise in the field of science, you know nothing about holographic technology." The Titans gasped as an intense shaft of light shot out of his palm and streaked across the library at light speed. Robin collapsed to the ground clutching his leg as the laser tore through his calf, the sound of burning flesh mingling with his cry of agony. "Lasers are used to create a three dimensional image."_

_"Robin!" Starfire had barely begun moving before the beam struck her abdomen, ripping completely through her and sending her tumbling to the ground, the child still in her arms._

_"Of course, with the correct technology, the lasers can also be redirected into a powerful destructive force."_

_The Boy Wonder groaned in pain. "Star—fire..."_

_"Tell me Robin." Slade said as he took aim again, this time at the half-metal man. "How does it feel to see your friends fall around you..." Cyborg armed his sonic cannon, but his left leg exploded at the kneecap before he could fire, knocking him to the floor and rendering him completely immobile. His cannon fired as he hit the ground, sending blue energy slamming into the ceiling. A large crack spread from the impact point causing a small portion of the library to collapse, but since no one was near that part of the building, the marble ceiling harmlessly fell to the floor. "One at a time, and you completely powerless to stop it?"_

_"BeastBoy look out!" Cyborg yelled._

_Slade's image flickered for a few moments, preventing him from firing again, giving BeastBoy enough time to change into a fly and zip out of sight._

_The villain chuckled as his image was restored. "So this is where your friend's true loyalties lie." He approached the fallen teenagers with the usual air of superiority. "His own selfish survival." He took aim at Raven's unmoving form and spoke loudly. "What'll it be changeling? Will you stay hidden and watch your friends die? Or will you show yourself and give them a few precious moments more to live?"_

_"Dude, you really need to work on your one-liners!" Slade turned around to see BeastBoy far behind him holding a rock the size of a dinner plate over his head._

_"You really are the stupid one aren't you?"_

_BeastBoy smirked. "Maybe, but I'm not as dumb as you are."_

_"Really. And what do you plan to do with that rock?"_

_"You'll see." BeastBoy threw the marble slab as hard as he could at the holo-villain... and missed by at least ten feet._

_Slade shook his head. "Pathetic excuse for a h—" As soon as the rock hit the ground, he once again began flickering in and out like a distorted TV station. "What!" He looked at his sputtering form in surprise._

_"I wasn't aiming for you anyway. Duh! I could hear your holo doohicky all the way over here." Sure enough, underneath the rock was a tiny smashed electronic cube that had, at one time, been creating the holo-Slade._

_Slade narrowed his eye and spoke as the hologram re-established its form, though the image was almost completely transparent. "You are beginning to get on my nerves, boy." He then immediately fired a blast directly into BeastBoy's chest._

_Cyborg gasped in horror._

"Raven?" He ran over to the empath that was slumped over by the entrance to the common room. "What happened? You okay?"

Raven didn't acknowledge him and just stared ahead.

Maybe she wasn't completely recovered from the incident at the library. "Rae?" Still, she didn't respond. "That's it, you're goin to the med room so I can check you out." He crouched down and gathered her up in his arms before standing again.

"... Tea."

Cyborg stopped at the sudden verbalization of her thoughts. "Wha?" He asked, confused.

She turned and looked at Cyborg, her face donning the normal 'don't mess with me' look, "I need some tea, so Put. Me. Down."

"Um, Okay..." Cyborg sat her to her feet, and watched her pull the dark blue cloak around her. 'I don't think I ever seen her **this** emotionless... better stick with her for a few minutes to make sure she's okay.' With that thought, he quickly followed her into the kitchen and stood by the fridge with his arms crossed over his chest (in a pathetic attempt to act casual).

Raven ignored his presence and continued to rummage through the cabinets at an almost lethargic pace. He inwardly sighed at her impassive face. He knew from his and BB's trip in her head that she couldn't show her emotions like the rest of the team, but seeing her go through the day like nothing had changed was slightly disturbing.

The half man was shaken out of his train of thought and scared out of his wits when the refrigerator door blew off its hinges and imbedded itself into the far wall. Raven stood unmoving, her pale hand gripping the cabinet door so tightly that it turned white. "Is this someone's idea of a sick joke?"

"Huh?" Cyborg looked at her from the floor where he had taken cover.

"Where's my herbal tea?"

"It isn't up there?"

"No."

He stood up and scratched his head. "It should be up there. Rob and Star got some for you yesterday."

"This?" Raven asked, pulling out a box of tea and turning to face him.

"Yeah! That's it."

"This isn't herbal tea."

"It isn't?"

"No it isn't." She growled.

Cyborg took a step back "Then-uh-what is it?"

"Read it." Raven tossed the item in question to his outstretched metal hand.

"Green tea with herbal spices... Oh."

"Don't 'Oh' me." She spoke angrily as all the food in the fridge spontaneously combusted in black fire. She couldn't believe it. These were her friends, and they continued to rub her face in the fact that he's dead! 'Can't they leave me alone about it?' "Do you three take pleasure in messing with me since BeastBoy's not here to do it?"

"No!" Cyborg waved his hands in front of him in surrender. "Rae, it was just an accident. They just didn't know what kind of tea you drank." He laughed nervously. Inside, his mind was reeling. 'Where the heck did she get that idea?'

"When have I ever said, 'I want green tea' around you or anyone else in this Tower?"

"Um, None?"

"Then why did they buy **that**?" She asked as the box exploded in his hand.

Cyborg coughed and waved his hand back and forth trying to blow away the offending tea leaves. "Jeeze, Rae. Calm down! It's just tea."

"No it isn't. And don't call me Rae."

"Okay, okay. I won't, but you need to calm down a little."

"So now you're telling me what I can and cannot feel?"

"No! I wasn't saying that at all! I was just saying that—"

"I know exactly what you're saying." Many painful memories came to mind, forcing her to fight back the onslaught of tears that attempted to break free. "I'm creepy and boring. I need to lighten up. I shouldn't stay in my room all day..." 'Focus. Don't cry. I can't cry.'

"Rae, what are you talking about?" Cyborg was completely confused. "When did I call you creepy or boring, or any of that other stuff?"

"I know Raven is a whole two syllables long, and will be stretching your already 'well developed' vocabulary..." She droned, sarcasm dripping off her words. "But it would be in your best interest to use my full name—" The empath froze, realizing what she said, and to whom she said it to. She looked up at Cyborg like a deer caught in the headlights and hoped that he didn't realize what she meant.

He did. "Oh geeze... Raven..."

"I-I need to meditate." The half demon pulled her hood over her head and turned around to leave the kitchen, but Cyborg caught her arm before she could get through the door.

"Wait."

"Let go of me." Her voice began losing its monotone and was replaced by slight desperation.

"No." He held firm.

"Please, let me go." She tried to pull her arm away but to no avail.

"I think you need to talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Rae."

"For the last time Beas—" She stopped struggling and turned to look at her friend with wide eyes. "I-I mean Cyborg..." Her gaze dropped to the floor as Cyborg let go and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You need someone to talk to?"

"... Yeah."

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I Hope you enjoyed it! Please Review and tell me what you think. I don't mind any kind of review and I promise that I'll get the next chapter out as soon as possible.

Thanks again!


	4. Fate Worse Than Death

Well, I finally got the next chapter out. Sorry for the wait, but I was very busy with work and life in general. For those who are waiting for the BB/Rae... Hold on. It'll come, and it'll be good.

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Chapter 3

**Fate Worse Than Death**

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"Remember what I told you. No arguing or fighting. If you can't think of anything nice to say, you'd be better off not saying anything at all." Two pairs of footsteps echoed along the long metal hallway, one firm and graceful, the other sluggish and inexperienced. Robin slowed his pace a bit and waited for Starfire to catch up to him. They say slow and steady wins the race, well, that's exactly how they made their way to the common room for dinner. "I'm not saying this to be mean, but we really don't need another fight to break out between you two." 

Starfire sighed. "I understand..."

"That doesn't sound very convincing."

"I am sorry. I am still angry with Raven."

"I understand, but I still don't want you to say anything about BeastBoy or her attitude, however bad it may be." He had to agree that Raven had been far less tolerant than usual, though completely understandable given the current situation.

"I will be civil, Robin." Starfire gave Robin a small smile, causing him to blush. "I promise."

"Thanks Starfire. I'm sure we'll all feel a little bit better tomorrow."

When Robin and Starfire walked into the kitchen, the smell of burnt tea leaves was the first thing to catch their attention. As Starfire took in the sight, her eyes widened and she couldn't help but gasp in surprise. "X'hal... It looks like a slithering glorbnark has passed through our eating facilities and exploded." Robin, though he had no idea what she said, only nodded in response.

It looked like a battlefield had taken place. Slime of every disgusting color imaginable was splattered over everything. Shredded plastic and paper littered the floor, along with some sort of ash, which was spread out everywhere, sticking to the walls and ceiling with relative ease. Probably because of the food. Several small cloths were enveloped in black energy and floated briskly around the kitchen, cleaning off counters, cabinets and anything else that was covered in debris. Anyone else would be running away screaming for an exorcist, but since that demon was their purple haired teammate, who seemed to have herself preoccupied with a massive pile of dishes, Robin and Starfire simply stared. Seeing Raven doing the dishes was just as strange as an alien creature randomly entering the tower and blowing itself up in their kitchen.

The cloth that was wiping off the kitchen table finished its job and shot off towards the next mess, which Starfire happened to be in the way. Even though she was well known for her speed and grace, the Tameranean barely had enough time to squeak and duck as the grungy projectile slammed into the wall behind her.

"Raven?" Robin asked the empath, who was currently elbow deep in dishwater. "What happened in here?" He took a step forward and immediately had to dodge several rags that decided to switch places. Six out of seven was pretty good, but he still ended up with a wet cloth on his face.

She didn't even slow down in her tasks as she answered. "My emotions slipped." Not exactly what happened, but they didn't need to know she blew a gasket and spilled her guts. Figuratively speaking, of course.

Robin cringed slightly as he pulled the rag off his face and tossed it in the trash. Whatever was scattered all over the kitchen was now dripping off his face. "Must've been one heck of a slip."

"I will acquire a sanitary towel." Starfire floated to the cabinet where they kept the clean dishrags and opened it. An empty shelf greeted her. She blinked. "Where are the sanitary towels?"

"They're gone." Raven stated simply.

"Gone?" She repeated.

"Yes."

"All of them?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Don't ask."

"But... I just did."

Raven rolled her eyes and continued her cleaning without comment. It had only been aboutthirty minutes since her little talk with Cyborg, and she was nowhere near ready for another conversation that required three or more words per sentence. Especially to Starfire.

Starfire felt her temper begin to flare again. She had to remember what Robin had told her, as well as what she had learned from her friend in the past. Perhaps a snack of the food in the 'fridge' would calm her erratic emotions as well as abate her hunger till dinner... That thought was quickly dashed as she reached her next destination."...Where is the rest of the fridge?" She stared wide-eyed at the mutilated appliance.

"Over here." Cyborg grunted as he struggled to pull the refrigerator door out of the kitchen wall. "There might be a towel on the handle, but s'not a big deal... Delivery guy should be here soon... I'm sure he's got some napkins...YAA!" He gave one final yank and staggered back as the wall finally released its quarry with a metallic groan. "Booya! Victory!" He held up the twisted object in the air with one hand and a peace sign with the other. His cheer was quickly cut short by a loud buzzing sound.

Raven dropped the last few dishes into the drainer and levitated the rags into the nearest trashcan just as Robin spoke. "Just in time for dinner too. I'm gonna get cleaned up." You didn't even have to look to know that he was getting nauseous from the smell. "Whatever this stuff is, it stinks." She looked behind her and watched the three leave the kitchen for their various reasons. Robin headed off first, most likely to wash his face, and Starfire was quick to follow. From the emotions that filled the room, she probably left just to get away from her. Cyborg looked like he was going to greet the delivery boy and get the Chinese food that was ordered.

Finally alone again, Raven slowly pulled the only surviving clean towel from her cloak, one that she had failed to tell Starfire of its whereabouts, and started drying her hands. As she gazed at the towel, a strange pain in her chest began to grow. It was the same feeling she had when she found the tea. She stopped her motions and brought it to her face. The soft, slightly damp surface felt nice against her skin and she soon found herself taking a deep breath, as if she was searching for that particular scent that she had come to know so well. 'Great.' She thought, realizing what she was doing. ' First I blow up the kitchen, and now I'm coddling a dishtowel.' She mentally berated herself a few more times as she threw the green object over her shoulder and headed to her seat at the table to wait for her friends...

_BeastBoy flew backwards several feet and hit a rather large bookshelf with a sickening crunch. Slade lowered his and chuckled. This was becoming far too easy. "Two down. Three to go."_

_The smell of burnt flesh and the sight of the attack was too much for him. Cyborg slowly pulled himself to his knees staring at his friend's body. 'No way...B... This can't be happening...' He yelled in rage and fired his sonic cannon. "Slade!" The beam passed harmlessly through the hologram's midsection and blew a hole in the wall._

_"Was that supposed to do something, child?"_

_"Shut up!" He yelled as he fired off several more shots, practically leveling the south end of the building. He just lost his best friend right in front of his eyes. There was no way he was gonna let that happen again. "You're goin down if I have to take the whole building down to do it!"_

_Slade shook his head. "You shouldn't worry Cyborg. You and your friends will be joining him soon." Slade raised his hand and blasted the half man in the chest, knocking him off his feet. "Do say hello to Raven's father for me."_

_Cyborg closed his eye and braced himself for the next attack, cursing at being so helpless. If only he had seen through Slade's plan, maybe BeastBoy wouldn't have gotten killed..._

**_Crunch._**

_Slade's image exploded in a flash of light._

_Cyborg blinked and looked around nervously. "What the heck?"_

_"Heh. I found the last holo thingy." BeastBoy stuck his green hand out of the pile of books he landed in and weakly held up a little smashed device._

_"BeastBoy!" The changeling soon found himself in a bone crushing hug, courtesy of the resident Tameranean._

_"Star... ribs... Ouch."_

_Starfire quickly released him and Beastboy fell to the ground with a thud. "Oh! I am very sorry!"_

_"Heh, no problem Star..."_

_"You're alive?" Robin tried to stand again and grimaced. "How?" He asked, finally giving up on getting up._

_BeastBoy stood up and clutched his chest with his free hand, groaning in pain. "Why? Disappointed or something?"Felt like he had a few busted ribs... and Star's hug, though one handed, didn't help any. Definitely gonna be feeling that in the morning._

_"Don't talk like that! You know what I meant. Were you trying to scare us to death?"_

_BeastBoy winced and mumbled as he leaned against the wall, "Hey I thought the rock idea was pretty good..." He massaged his throbbing temples and sighed, "Dude! That is one game of laser tag I'm not gonna be forgetting any time soon."_

_Cyborg laughed. "Yeah, and you did a great job, too. Now how 'bout you let me take a look at that emitter?"_

_"You want? Catch." BeastBoy tossed the tiny machine to him._

_As soon as it was in his grasp, Cyborg turned the crumpled ball of metal over a couple of times. "Wow, you really did a number on this thing. What'd you do to it? Smash it with a rock?"_

_"Yeah Cy..." BeastBoy shook his head as he limped over towards Raven. Apparently he bruised his leg somewhere along the line. "I smashed it with a rock. We're in a library! I whacked it with a book, you moron!" He crouched down and looked at the pale girl worriedly._

_"Dang. Must've been a thick book."_

_"All I know was that it was old, big and thick. Totally Raven worthy stuff."_

_"And how would you know when a book is or isn't Raven worthy?"_

_"Uh..." BeastBoy's face turned an interesting shade of red, "Can we move Raven? She can't be comfortable with all that junk pokin' her in the back."_

_Cyborg laughed inwardly at BB's reaction. "Like I said before, she's gonna be just fine. Go ahead and bring her over here."_

_"Starfire, are you okay?" Robin asked as she helped him stand, the child still in one arm._

_She smiled weakly in return. "Yes, I am not severely injured. Tameraneans are well known for taking excessive amounts of damage and blood loss before death occurs."_

_"That's... comforting." He looked at the changeling, who slowly made his way to the group in the form of a gorilla while carrying Raven. "What about you? How the heck did you survive that hit? Not that I'm complaining or anything, but Cyborg's whole leg got blown off by the last one."_

_BeastBoy shrugged as best he could before setting her down and changing back. "Dunno... You're the smart one. You figure it out. I've been doin' enough thinking for one day."_

_Robin balanced himself on his good leg, with Starfire's help, and surveyed the damage around him. All of his friends were badly injured, but at least none of them were dead. He was sure Raven would be able to heal all of them as soon as she woke up, but that didn't leave him any more at ease. They were lucky this time. The trap was almost perfect, and if it wasn't for BeastBoy's hearing, they'd all be dead. "Find anything out?" He asked._

_"Yeah." Cyborg tossed the object in question to his leader. "Looks like Slade placed several emitters strategically around the library to increase the power of the laser. After each one was destroyed, the laser's power levels were reduced until it was only a fraction of what it once was."_

_BeastBoy nodded. "Okay... Now lets just pretend that I didn't get a word you just said."_

_Cyborg rolled his eye. "Less holo-thingies, weaker laser."_

_"Oh. Now why didn't you say that in the first place?"_

_"Friends..." The three boys turned and looked at Starfire. "I believe the young child is finally awakening."_

Tap. Tap. Tap. Sip. Flip.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Sip. Flip.

The mood at the table was tense, to say the least. Raven sat at her usual place at one end, reading a book while taking the occasional sip of her water, again acting as nothing had ever happened. Any and all type of conversation directed towards her was simply ignored or glared upon. "So... Raven. How was your meditation today?"

Her eyes shifted to Robin, who visibly flinched.

"Nevermind."

And where Raven was quiet and antisocial, Starfire was simply trying to make a scene.

Cyborg stared wide-eyed at her viscous attack. "Um, Star. I think the eggroll is dead. You can eat it anytime now." She acted as though she didn't hear and continued jabbing mercilessly at her dinner with her chopsticks. Robin and Cyborg looked at eachother nervously. 'I thought you talked to her!' Cyborg mouthed.

'I did!' Was mouthed back 'Did you talk to Raven?'

"What?" Cyborg whispered as he leaned in close. He wasn't as good at reading lips as their leader despite having a computerized brain.

"I said, 'Did you talk to Raven?'"

"Yeah."

"Well?"

"She didn't say much, but I did convince her to—"

"Cyborg."

Both boys jerked their heads in Raven's direction. If that was her, it would've been the first thing she had said since dinner started. She turned a page in her book and never even looked up. Robin glanced back at Cyborg, who just shrugged. Maybe they were just hearing things... "If you say one more thing to him, you won't beleaving this table in one piece."

Okay... So she did speak.

"None of you know anything about my feelings. I'll deal with his death in my own way." Raven took a sip of her drink and returned her attention to her book. "Alone."

"Raven," Robin started, unsure as to whether or not it would be wise to continue this conversation. "We don't know how you feel because you won't tell us."

"I don't tell you because it's none of your business."

"But you're our friend, girl. We wanna help."

"Being friends doesn't mean I have to tell you every aspect of my life. Drop it."

Starfire listened for a few more minutes while Robin and Cyborg fruitlessly tried to talk to Raven, until finally she had enough. "Why do you prevent us from helping you?" She asked, interrupting the boys. "What have we done to make you so angry at us?"

"The fact that you three won't shut up and let me read in peace." Raven flipped the page.

Starfire's eyes narrowed dangerously at her teammate. "Then you truly enjoy the silence that has been brought from BeastBoy's death."

"Starfire!" Robin's mask stretched as his eyes widened.

Raven's eyebrow twitched. "Not as much as you enjoy butting into other people's business." She said, setting the book on the table and glaring.

"I do not do the 'butting in' that you speak of. I am merely trying to help."

"You call that helping? Maybe you didn't get the hint. Do me a favor and shut up. BeastBoy is gone. I know. I'm not stupid. I don't want your so-called help, and I'm not in the mood to listen to your horrible attempts at proper English."

"Guys! Guys! Calm down! This ain't the way BB'd want you two to be acting!" Cyborg tried his best to calm the situation, but his pleas fell on deaf ears.

Suddenly the lights dimmed and the flashing red light and siren reverberated through the room, drawing everyone's attention.

* * *

A horrendous scream of agony ripped through the large forest far from Jump City. Birds of all colors and sizes took to the air from the trees in fear, while the many different animals sought shelter in the foliage. 

"Awake again?" An older man with a light brown beard and mustache groaned as he sat up in bed. "Lights." He quickly threw his blanket off and sat up rubbing his eyes at the sudden illumination. "That's the fifth time today." After quickly dressing and grabbing his glasses from the shelf, he yawned as he donned his lab coat and headed out of his room into the hall. This was proving quite difficult. Every day, ever since they acquired that... that thing, the experiment just seemed to become more and more volatile. No living thing on Earth; man, beast or alien, has shown the aggression that **it** has in the past three days. As he rounded the next corner, he narrowed his eyes. A tall man with gray/white hair and a black bodysuit stood with his hands placed casually behind his back next to one of the young scientists on his team. "Wilson?" He said, sounding slightly annoyed. "What are you doing here?"

In front of the two men was a large one-sided mirror that stretched a good ten feet across. On the other side of the glass, a young woman with short blonde hair and white body suit was in a large cell locked in battle with a huge monster of some sort. She blocked a swipe from its claws, that looked like it would've taken her head off if it connected, and slammed the experiment into the ceiling with a well placed kick to its midsection. The entire facility shook from the assault and most of the inhabitants flinched as another shriek tore at their eardrums. The creature then fell a good twenty feet and yelped as it hit the ground.

Wilson continued to watch the creature through six inches of bulletproof glass. "Hello again, Professor." He said, never taking his eyes off the fight. "I see you've made some progress with your new toy." He smirked when it simply growled as it got to its feet and lunged at the woman yet again. "And it seems that your little girl is starting to have a hard time with him. I didn't know she was so weak, given her heritage."

"She's not weak." He walked over to the scientist beside Wilson, but kept his eyes on the experiment. " Her physiology is identical to the original, and with the genetically enhanced DNA, I'd say that she's at least as powerful as Superman."

"But that thing..." He paused as the creature caught a flying punch and swung the woman face first into the thick metal wall. "It's gaining strength far quicker than we thought was ever possible. It's hard to believe it was human at one point." A sudden flash of red and the experiment was thrown from its opponent and sent flying directly into the window, cracking it down the middle. The two men didn't even flinch. The third, however, had ducked for cover and was now busy picking himself off the floor, trying to calm his racing heart. "I was also told that the last tranquilizer was strong enough to kill an elephant." He adjusted his glasses and gave the young man a stern look. "I was told it wouldn't wake up for another three days, and unless my watch is off, it's only been an hour."

"Sir." The young man started shifting through his papers frantically, dropping a few documents in the process. He finally found what he was looking for and shakily handed him a clipboard. "Its body is adapting far quicker than we first anticipated." He then bent down to retrieve his lost papers.

Slowly he flipped through the papers, taking in everything that he deemed important. "The results of the tissue samples need to be given to Ms. Waller immediately." He gave the test results back and glanced back at Wilson as the scientist headed off. "You never did tell me why you were here in the first place."

"I was just checking up on our little guinea pig."

"This is not your experiment, Wilson. You were hired for your expertise due to your previous encounters with them, nothing more."

Wilson shrugged. "I know exactly why you hired me, and I don't care as long as I receive my payment. But keep in mind, if it can't be controlled, then your experiments are pointless." He turned around and started walking down the hall, away from him. "Remember professor. Some animals can't be controlled by conventional methods. To them imprisonment is a fate worse than death."

"Sometimes... it takes a mate to tame a beast."

* * *

I'm so sorry for the major delay and the poor quality of parts of the fic. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible. Thanks again for the great reviews! 


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